The art of indifference
When people from two mindsets interact, funny things happen. Language and behavior takes Rorschach form. How people interpret them is a window into how people attach meaning to certain things and how they don’t. Of course, any new bride will tell you the same thing, when she interacts with a family with a different worldview than hers. Many cross cultural training sessions have been constructed on this and yet understanding has not found a formula.
I think the “art of cultivated indifference” has something to do with this. It seems to me a modern malady, where thought seems to have overtaken feeling. It is not OK, in civilized society to express feeling without the label or being “irrational” or “emotional.” Public discourse seems to be always about thought, and any subjective experience seems to be relegated to the realm of art, namely exotic, and esoteric. And while all this happens, processes are developed for how we talk, how we interact, and these rules of behavior drive all interaction, mechanical, and without authenticity. While sitting on many meetings at work, PTA and committees of myriad hues, and when developing friendship with people of many kinds, colors and races, the gap between public and private personas always seems to be fallout of this modern art. Who I talk to as a friend is very different from the person in public. And funnily, I always like the friend better. To be socially intelligent seems to be a garb of hiding what one feels while wearing a beautiful mask. No wonder then, we have so much conflict. Wit, humor, and the ability to turn everything into trivial are considered sophistication, as opposed to authenticity, which is somehow associated with being emotional, and hence not respected enough.
Somewhere, the subjective experience seems to have been relegated into the world of the inferior. A natural reaction, accompanied with thoughtfulness, cannot be such a difficult goal to aim for. However it seems to me, that not much effort is made, leave alone achievement. Maybe a greater need exists for faith than reason. Reason has been highly overdone.
I think the “art of cultivated indifference” has something to do with this. It seems to me a modern malady, where thought seems to have overtaken feeling. It is not OK, in civilized society to express feeling without the label or being “irrational” or “emotional.” Public discourse seems to be always about thought, and any subjective experience seems to be relegated to the realm of art, namely exotic, and esoteric. And while all this happens, processes are developed for how we talk, how we interact, and these rules of behavior drive all interaction, mechanical, and without authenticity. While sitting on many meetings at work, PTA and committees of myriad hues, and when developing friendship with people of many kinds, colors and races, the gap between public and private personas always seems to be fallout of this modern art. Who I talk to as a friend is very different from the person in public. And funnily, I always like the friend better. To be socially intelligent seems to be a garb of hiding what one feels while wearing a beautiful mask. No wonder then, we have so much conflict. Wit, humor, and the ability to turn everything into trivial are considered sophistication, as opposed to authenticity, which is somehow associated with being emotional, and hence not respected enough.
Somewhere, the subjective experience seems to have been relegated into the world of the inferior. A natural reaction, accompanied with thoughtfulness, cannot be such a difficult goal to aim for. However it seems to me, that not much effort is made, leave alone achievement. Maybe a greater need exists for faith than reason. Reason has been highly overdone.
posted by Sumita | 11:06 AM
1 Comments:
I realy like yoru observations. praing the ability to waer a mask well and subjugating anyone who quetions that approach is a cancer in our culture.
Thanks for shareing your insights.
~ Greg.
California
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